Holly Dae Comics

Will you join me on my crazy journey?

I’m an Imposter — October 18, 2016

I’m an Imposter

hollydaeYou heard it here first, I’ve been fooling everyone. I’m a fake.

I’ve copied everything I’ve ever done from other people. I mean, I didn’t even know how to walk on my own. I watched my parents do it and thought, “hey I can do that!” I learned how to walk, talk, dress, and eat from those chumps, can you believe it? Hehe… suckers.

Obviously I’m being facetious, but I have a point. Tell me one thing, just ONE THING, that you learned how to do 100% in your own power. It’s a fact of life that we learn how to survive from our predecessors. We learn about the world, our culture, and our beliefs from our families. We don’t just paint our own canvas from scratch, there are layers upon layers, centuries of learning, that we can’t even see.

Show me a teenager who was born wearing punk/goth/emo/insert-current-trend-here clothing. Who didn’t have that first day where they were sure everyone was going to find out that they were just faking it. Sure, maybe there is the odd case where a kid was raised in a household full of goths/punks/whatevers, but I think most of us would agree that is the rare exception and not the rule.

So where do we all learn this “imposter” theory, this “poser” theory that says if we are not fully committed to a thing and it wasn’t tattooed on our bones at the age of 6 that we are somehow less than worthy. Don’t we all start somewhere?

As an artist, I’m constantly thinking thoughts like this. “I’m not as good as they are, what am I doing here?” “Why am I posting my work when it’s clearly not at the right level?” “I can’t make tutorials when my work looks like this!”

Again. We all start somewhere. An artist isn’t born an artist, I don’t care what anybody says. Maybe some children show interest/aptitude early on, but of course how their parents react and accommodate that can play a huge factor. There is no fetus that can draw a photo-realistic portrait, know what I’m saying? (But boy, wouldn’t that be an interesting ultrasound?)

Artists are a wildly self-concious bunch and self-criticism is a common complaint I see among many of them. Budding Picassos excitedly put paintbrush to canvas, only to realize that a blind squirrel could stumble through paint and make a better piece. A brave few decide to press on, and maybe even have enough courage to show other people the art that they are making. We know we are not masters, but we are excited that we created something.

Why can’t we just keep being excited about creating things? Why does there always have to be this deluge of criticism and judgement of whether we are truly artists? Artists are people who create things. People who make things that would otherwise not exist. Maybe my definition didn’t come from Webster’s, but this isn’t a graduation speech anyway.

I create things. I am an artist. Maybe not by your definition (and if that be the case, kindly stop reading my blog, please and thank you), but I want to own that label. We don’t need labels to make us happy, but I’m tired of feeling like I can’t call myself something I love. Being an artist, and calling myself out as such, helps me feel more like me.

At some point I drew in stick figures. I am slightly better than that now, and I will continue to draw those exemplary human-ish representations until they are even better than they are currently. I might have a long way to go (and I may never catch up to that en utero DaVinci) but if I stop creating things I’m pretty sure something inside of my head will explode or implode or make a general mess of your carpet.

Deep Breath — March 3, 2016

Deep Breath

Okay. So maybe I need to rethink how I want to do this thing. Another week has gone by and I’m not meeting the standards that I have set for myself.

I tend to be very all or nothing. Either I stick to the diet plan and workout religiously, or I give up. Much like most people’s gym memberships, my grand plans go to waste.

Basically ever day that I’m not feeling SUPER AWESOME and like “LET’S DO THIS THING!” are days that could trigger my desire to quit. I’m a flight risk at this point.

And few people would know the difference, so there’s very little consequence if I were to just stop. No one would know but me, really, and I tend not to think highly of myself anyway so what’s the difference?

Somewhere deep inside of me there is a person screaming at me to get up.

I feel it once in a while, but that voice is faint. Years of negativity have dug it a dark cave to keep it hidden. The voice shouting at me to do something, be successful, and prove that I have something inside me worth sharing, has been overshadowed by the voice that casually never stops talking about my worthlessness.

Let’s call them “success voice” and “fail voice”, or SV and FV for short. SV is small, but determined. She doesn’t give up, she doesn’t surrender, she’s the hard worker who doesn’t give up even when her tired limbs ache. FV’s main advantage is stubbornness and that morbid curiosity that we all have to look at the negative things in life.

As corny as this might sound, I believe that we all have these voices inside of us. The key is which one we allow to prosper and which one we suppress. Sometimes we learn these habits from our parents and they become hard to shake.

I know the story doesn’t have to end there. It’s never too late.

SV has the will to win. I just need to tune in to her voice. I need to feed that part of my brain and give myself whatever corny pep talks I need to until that voice is running like a freight train through my head, stomping FV in her wake!


Sailor Moon eat your heart out, my transformation sequence involves a POWER SUIT!


Oh my goodness, lol…

— February 18, 2016

I realize that I’m talking about comics, so I really should put something comic-y up here soon. I don’t have anything that I want to share here yet, but I also don’t want this blog to lack that visual element so here we go:


These are just a couple of doodles that I’ve done recently. I’m trying to learn more about shading and coloring, as well as anatomy. I’m still in a very experimental place so I haven’t found my style yet. I have a lot of work to do, but I’m enjoying the process.

These were both done with a Wacom tablet in the program Manga Studio.

I’ll try to doodle some comics to put up here soon. I’m not sure what they’ll be about at this point, but everything here is a step toward growth.