Life is funny. Just when you are SURE you know what you are doing (which, let’s be honest, should have been the first clue that you’re doing something wrong, how can you be certain about anything?), that’s when life throws you a curve ball.

I have been an avid fan of the “live your dream” mentality. The mentality that says you have one true purpose for being on this earth. A calling, a destiny, a birthright, a reason to get up in the morning, something that ONLY YOU can do! Clearly I watch too many movies…

*insert sarcastic side glance*

Maybe it’s because I’m growing up (metaphorically as I’ve been “grown up” for a while now) but I’m starting to look at life differently. There are things that I do well, but is there one thing that I do better than anyone else. Not so far. My “dream” is pretty obscure these days and I don’t really know what I want.

I keep hoping I’ll land on it or that it will smack me in the face. I feel like a hungry person standing in front of the fridge, waiting for something delicious to start dancing around singing “pick me!” But it never does.

Once my dream was to be in theater. Once my dream was to be a singer. Once my dream was to be a world renowned sculptor. Once my dream was to be one of the Disney Princesses working at Disney World signing little girls autograph books.

I’d love to tell you that all these dreams came from the mind of a little girl whose age was still in single digits, but that is not the case. I actually tried to go to college for theater for about half a second. I’ve sung on stage as part of church worship teams and in church plays (granted this is a local church, but it was a really big one). I’ve sculpted pieces from polymer clay that people raved about, praising my eye for detail.

The Disney Princess one…. well… that one is a little too lofty to attempt. Apparently they have height and weight requirements and so forth.

There have been many, many smaller dreams in between. My current dream is to draw comics and put them up online, with the intention of collecting them into a self published book.

With all the other dreams that have come and gone, it’s really hard for me to believe that anything will stick. What I really want is to find a way to incorporate all of those things together. To somehow bring all the things that I’m passionate about together in one beautiful project that let’s me show the world all of who I am.

If all these pieces fit together somehow, then I am a terrible puzzler. Puzzle putter-togetherer. Puzzle person. What would you call that? Whatever you call it, I’m apparently bad at it, lol.

Maybe I could sculpt some ball-jointed dolls… use them to make a comic by posing them and taking pictures… sing to make background music… and my theater would just help me make everything more dramatic? (The Disney Princess thing doesn’t seem to work in any scenario.)

I can’t tell if this is brilliance or lunacy. As much as I want everyone to weigh in, this blog hasn’t received any comments yet so I won’t hold my breath, lol.

I’ll probably just keep mulling that one over. This is a terrible way to end this post, but I don’t have an answer so I can’t tell you what the answer is. I’ll try to keep you posted.