Okay. So maybe I need to rethink how I want to do this thing. Another week has gone by and I’m not meeting the standards that I have set for myself.
I tend to be very all or nothing. Either I stick to the diet plan and workout religiously, or I give up. Much like most people’s gym memberships, my grand plans go to waste.
Basically ever day that I’m not feeling SUPER AWESOME and like “LET’S DO THIS THING!” are days that could trigger my desire to quit. I’m a flight risk at this point.
And few people would know the difference, so there’s very little consequence if I were to just stop. No one would know but me, really, and I tend not to think highly of myself anyway so what’s the difference?
Somewhere deep inside of me there is a person screaming at me to get up.
I feel it once in a while, but that voice is faint. Years of negativity have dug it a dark cave to keep it hidden. The voice shouting at me to do something, be successful, and prove that I have something inside me worth sharing, has been overshadowed by the voice that casually never stops talking about my worthlessness.
Let’s call them “success voice” and “fail voice”, or SV and FV for short. SV is small, but determined. She doesn’t give up, she doesn’t surrender, she’s the hard worker who doesn’t give up even when her tired limbs ache. FV’s main advantage is stubbornness and that morbid curiosity that we all have to look at the negative things in life.
As corny as this might sound, I believe that we all have these voices inside of us. The key is which one we allow to prosper and which one we suppress. Sometimes we learn these habits from our parents and they become hard to shake.
I know the story doesn’t have to end there. It’s never too late.
SV has the will to win. I just need to tune in to her voice. I need to feed that part of my brain and give myself whatever corny pep talks I need to until that voice is running like a freight train through my head, stomping FV in her wake!
CORNY MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER ACTIVATE!
Sailor Moon eat your heart out, my transformation sequence involves a POWER SUIT!
Oh my goodness, lol…